Clearing the way

This month has just sped by, and without much posting. It’s not that I haven’t had much to write about – I have. And there’ve been many occasions when I’ve started writing out a post in my head. But when push came to shove I just couldn’t get motivated to sit down at a keyboard and pound it out. I need to work on that.

I will admit that it’s been a difficult month, so perhaps that’s contributed to my blogging block. I caught a cold early this month which I thought turned into bronchitis. Turned out I have severe asthma and the combination of the cold plus my allergies pushed me over the edge. For the first time in my life I struggled to breathe and couldn’t walk across the house without stopping to catch my breath. I’m renowned for avoiding doctors, but it was so bad that even I knew I needed to get medical treatment. Not that I thought I was going to die, but I realised that without treatment I might get myself into serious trouble.

I took Prednisone at the start and now use my Symbicort inhaler twice a day, and I’m feeling a million times better. Better than I’ve felt in ages, to be honest. No more nighttime wheezing, much less coughing. But I’m aware that my breathing still doesn’t really feel normal and sometimes I wonder if it ever will again.

The other big happening that’s weighed me down this month is my divorce. With the one year anniversary of our separation rolling around at the end of October, we’ve filed our paperwork. I found myself strangely affected by the whole process and it upset me a lot more than I thought it would. Not that I miss my soon-to-be ex or have any feelings for him other than contempt, but I am sad that what I thought we had didn’t exist at all.

I don’t really like blogging about personal things, but those two things have been the elephant in the room this month when it came to blogging. They took up so much of my headspace and so much of my energy that if I didn’t acknowledge them, I don’t think I would have been able to get anything else out. With that out of the way, perhaps the words will flow a bit more easily

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