Two steps forward, one step back.

I rearranged my living room furniture last night. Nothing major, I just flipped the room so it’s a mirror image of what it was. The couch that used to be against the wall with the window is now against the interior wall; the TV unit and TV that were against the interior wall are now against the wall with the window. A small change, but it’s like having a new room or living in a new place. One wall that was taken up with couch before is now bare, crying out for a side table or bookcase, and the whole room just feels a lot more open.

I didn’t do it just for the change. There was actually a much more practical reason: I got Foxtel installed today, and the Foxtel cable enters the room on the wall with the window. I know I could have just had them put in a really long cable, but there was no way to get it to the TV without dragging it across the floor, putting it in front of the fireplace or drilling through the wall/floor to put in a new entry point. Ugh.

By using the pre-existing cable, it took all of about 15 minutes for them to hook up my Foxtel. And then I was back in the happy world of subscription television. The schedule really didn’t seem to have changed all that much since I last had it in February 2010. NCIS, Real Housewives of OC/NJ/NYC, Law & Order ad infinitum: they were all still there. There was even an episode of Gilmore Girls on, which I sat and watched before heading into the office.

When my marriage imploded and I was still in Canberra, I passed a fair amount of time laying on my couch feeling depressed one minute and panic stricken the next. With no idea of what the future held, where I was going to live or what kind of job I’d be able to land, I settled into a morning routine of sleeping in til 9 and then watching Gilmore Girls at 10, followed by Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Law & Order: SVU. Then I’d work a bit on finding a job and maybe do some project work for my last remaining clients before going in the back of the house to play games once the Dickhead came home. Watching Gilmore Girls today reminded me of that period of my life – I felt happy that I’d made it through that experience, and yet a bit nostaligic for the sense of security I used to have in our house, before it all turned out to be a lie. It’s a feeling I don’t think I’ll ever have again.

Funny how rearranging some furniture and watching a TV show can make you feel so different.

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